I Was Only There (Out Of The Meaningless)

I was only there out of the meaningless
Out of the blue
And she came with her shrink wrapped ideals
That weren’t true
I was only there out of a vain sense of loss
As though you were the one
To estimate how much pain and brooding this had cost
I was only there out of the fear
You say death is something we don’t yet understand
But I feel it nearer and near
I hear it’s muttering sputtering sound
To hear
That I am put in a box in the ground
After the last time my heart pounds

Buried By Promises (And Bad Deals)

Buried by promises
And bad deals
Long wishes
And how you feel
Knocked down
By time
Alive to drown
Inside your mind
Buried by promises
And bad deals
Not even truthful
About how it all feels
Lost in a tempest
In the chaos of success
Touching completeness
Selling out for less
Buried by promises
And bad deals
The envy grows
As the hatred is revealed
Crazy eyes
For something concealed
Blue skies
Field after field
Until stark naked
Before the real

You Dream In The Afterwords

You dream in the afterwords
Like a hindsight
Or memory
Thrown into the present like a trophy
And I hate
What this demonstrates
That you are hooked
Borrowed by the dead
And like a parrot
You say what’s already said
And I grimace and am uninspired
Write for hours
To get rid of the inner liar
You dream in the storm
As though there was time to play
And work towards the truth
From a simple bookish way
And I stand too near to truth
That I experience it’s flux
There are thousands of reasons to not believe in truth
But all of them are completely nuts
You dream and reel in a nightmare
You calmly recall it
And even I am a bit scared
Sending it out as another poem
To dig up the corpse
And rag doll it against the stone
To leave me alone
And dissipate the fear in my bones
By breaking apart what is already gone

For A Robust Health And Life Unlimited

For a portion of life fair
And dream diminutive
For a mind lost
For a robust health and life unlimited
For a maximum pain
And totality of gain
For a stabbed in virtue
And inside out brain
For a kiss
And wintered fit
For a mind lost
For a robust health and life unlimited
For a boxed away body
For a dead soul
For a grave dug out
Like any other hole
For an inhibited
Loss of feeling
For a dream
For a robust health and life unlimited

You Scared?

You scared?
I am
You fear?
I fear
You live near to tear?
I’m scared
Your soul covered in clothes?
Mine bared
You scared?
I am
You care?
I do
You stare
At truth?
Until truth stare back into you?
You scared?
I am
You got a death on your mind?
I’ve got one on mine
You scared?
I am
You share?
I share
You fear?
Like I fear?
Like I care
That I disappear?

Open Lines

Open lines
And closed dreams
Painted minds
And sun beams
Held love
Growing and change
The blood
Pumped into the brain
Open boxes
With grabbed ideas
And a line to nothing
But a single fear
Of death
Of loss of breath
Of being left
Of dirt filled lungs
And coming undone
The soul rests
Or doesn’t exist
The body in parts
The center of art
In the heart of hearts
Love a fire
A great big unfulfilled desire
Open graves
Where the pathway into the graveyard
Is paved
Open lies
And closed in on truth
Alone inside
Long in tooth
To reach upwards to the prize
The truth and the lies
And go down down to sleep
Falling backwards into the dark abyss
Forever deep

As Soon As You Leave

As soon as you leave
I grieve
The lonely hollow self
Needs someone else
As soon as you disappear
I fear
That no one will come as near
To exploding the voices
And changing the soul
To appear as a Jewish person
Hovering over the six foot deep hole
As soon as you left
I was messed
Drinking and smoking you away
Fiction and delusion
Over what was wrecked
Between you and I
There was no real sky
It went forever upwards
Until I closed my good eye
And watched it all die